A big day

Today will be a very big day for me.

In a little while, I’m going to share one of the most painful, personal moments of my life with anyone who’s interested in hearing about it via my personal blog. I have the oddest feeling this morning–it feels like fear mixed with courage.

Despite the actual experience and pain involved in the aftermath, and in spite of my fear of the unknown consequences of opening myself up to the world, I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share. I’m grateful for a friend who shared his story with me last week and prompted me to share my own. I’m grateful for the intricate, winding, uphill road that led me to today, fingers positioned on my keyboard, calm and ready to say what needs to be said.

I’m grateful God is the ultimate orchestrator of all of this, and I’m grateful that I’ve stepped down from my throne enough to recognize Him for Who He Is.

I feel like God’s whispering to me, “Now watch what I’m going to do with this. I told you, I’m making everything new.”

I’m watching.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “A big day

  1. Thanks Henry–I know the feeling. I’ve felt it in bits and pieces, but there’s something about just putting it out there that’s bigger, freeing, and for me, giving up control over it and letting God just do whatever He wants with it. I haven’t been willing or ready to do that until now. And that feels light.

  2. I know the feeling. Recently, I had my first Sacrament of Reconcilitation ever (Confession), where I had to confess my sins from the past 33 years and ask for forgiveness. The anxiety leading up to it, and the nervousness in me during the process, were almost overbearing. The feeling of getting it off my chest and knowing i’m absolved was overwhelming, like a mack truck with an elephant driving it was lifted off my chest. I’ll pray the Lord’s strength in you!

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