It reminds me of the way I felt as an undergrad during Christmas and summer breaks; I always felt like I’d just jumped off a train and couldn’t stop the forward momentum in my body. For the first few days, I had the eery sense that I should be doing something else–writing, reading, studying, something! But there was nothing else to do. So I finally rested.
Perhaps due to my pregnancy, or maybe as a result of age or maturity, I certainly have no problem jumping off the train now. The same night I finished my last final, it was an easy transition from desk to couch, popcorn in hand.
I remember many other times, when I was younger, driven to earn more money, and motivated by comparing myself to other people I graduated with, I frequently felt completely exhausted, overwhelmed, and tense because of the number of duties I’d willingly tossed onto my overflowing plate. But I kept saying “yes.” Volunteer for another fundraiser? Yes, please. Add one more social engagement to a calendar spilling over with obligations? Sure, no problem.
I’m grateful that today, I’m no longer motivated by the desire to earn more money, and I very rarely catch myself comparing Bethany to everyone else. I revel in the moments when I can do what I love. I live a Kit Kat kind of life, taking breaks when I need them and refusing to feel guilty for doing so. I create more of these moments by minimizing the number of times I say “yes,” making sure each of those times reflects not only a genuine desire to help but also is matched by a plentiful opening in my proverbial planner (I don’t even own a planner anymore, by the way).
It feels wonderful.
You should try it.